Saturday, August 29, 2015

30 things I've learned by 30

As I reflect on my big 3-0 (lol) I'm inclined to jot down some things that I've learned over the course of my lifetime thus far. Here is my "30 things I've learned by 30" list for your meandering enjoyment. (hahaha)



1- Grace. It's more important that breathing. Christ used His dying breath to grant grace, so should we live it, breathe it, exude it, and let it consume us.

2- Mercy. It's by mercy alone that we aren't all abandon in our sin. We are called to love mercy. To LOVE it. And to extend that to others, to rejoice when others receive mercy.

3- When you get involved in other people's drama, expect retaliation. Their retaliation is on your own head, because peace is better than the pride of being shown right.

4- Family isn't blood, it's commitment to love, no matter what. Blood is often the one place that it doesn't come from. Adoption is such an amazing ministry, and when the family of the adopter chooses to love the adoptee as well, instead of rejecting them for "not being family" when the circumstances aren't self-serving, that's a glorious thing.

5- People make mistakes, and if we judge their character based on their mistakes, we have judged wrongly and without mercy.

6- Forgiveness is a must, but protecting yourself and your family is also a must. The two can reside hand in hand, but protection always takes priority. If someone has willingly tried to hurt you or tried to tear your family apart, putting them out of your life is protection, not a lack of mercy or grace. How much more so is it understandable to put people out of your life that have threatened you or openly cast you out as well? We are obligated to no man, only to God.

7- Sticking by a friend or lover when they are going through the thick, miry stink of sin and shame is SO much more rewarding in the end than leaving, which is the safer option. It's through these painful, gut-wrenching times that relationships are pruned of self so that they can flourish in the future.

8- If someone with less life experience than you gives you instruction on life or titles (marriage, children, etc) that you've lived to prove ill-advised or not so exclusive... just smile and giggle on the inside. Peace is better than offense.... even for a hot-headed Italian/German/Irish woman like myself. ;-)

9- Never let someone take a cookie cutter to your life in the name of Scripture or God's will. God created you for more than to live up to other people's expectations. Men judge (most often wrongly) by outward appearance, but God knows your heart. The prettiest face and the most pious prayers can hide a very ugly, hard, and unrepentant heart. Live for God, not men.

10 - It's okay to feel, and it's okay to feel strongly. We're made in the image of God, including our emotions. Find your tribe, the ones who will embrace you for who you are, passion and all, and protect & cherish them like your own. Give grace and space to the rest.

11- One of the most challenging things for a parent is learning to raise a kid right, without squelching or diminishing from their personalities and passions.

12- Technology isn't the enemy, lack of self-control is.

13- Never let those who glory in hurting you get the satisfaction of diminishing your self-image.

14- It's okay to be weak. Only in our weakness is His strength cultivated.

15- What works for the goose does NOT always work for the gander.

16- Never use someone else's life as a measuring stick to your own. As much as we're all in this thing called life together, we were created to pave different and unique paths through this world.

17- Never use your life as a measuring stick to someone else's. You never know what lives under the surface of another human being, so don't build your ivory towers so high that you'll be enabled to look down on others. It profits nothing to the kingdom of God.

18- The moment that you begin to require things from other people to prove themselves worthy of your acquaintance, assistance, or friendship is the moment you become a Pharisee. Jesus dined with the worst of sinners, and ministered to harlots right where they were. The Pharisees called him names and judged Him, but He was worried about no opinion other than His Father's. Live in that knowledge.

19- It's okay to be broken. Grace thrives in our brokenness, and if there's one thing that this world needs, it's grace in the midst of all this hardness.

20- Learn to love the mission field that God has placed you in, not the one that you are jealous of. You will do more for the Kingdom where God needs you, and He doesn't make mistakes.

21- Never underestimate the power of hard work. At the end of the day you might go to be bruised and hurting, but there is worth in earning your keep.

22- Marriage is a partnership. It's going to be filled with each of you taking on responsibilities that aren't "your own." Embrace it. Marriage is as much of a ministry to your partner as anything, and ministry is often muddy, messy, and grueling.

23- Embrace the mountains, because without them, there would be no valleys.

24- Embrace the storms, because rain brings life to a dry and desolate place.

25- Beware of the pride of humility. Nothing is quite as soul-dangerous as the religious ones who scoff at and shame those who aren't as humble as they are.

26- Treasure the sweet moments, learn from the messy ones, and let them all go at the end of the day. Deposit the sweet, toss the bathwater out. You'll never have this day again, take that as both a bittersweet ideal and a promise.

27- You can't reach out when you lock yourself in.

28- Surround yourself with people that you can trust. A friend who ignores you in a time of distress is one who can't be trusted.

29- Don't gossip. Just don't. You're worth more than that low stoop it requires.

30- Love with wild abandon. Love, and truly love some more. The world has enough hate, and harshness and fire & brimstone never won anybody to Christ in this history of the world. A little grace, like a little salt, goes a long way.

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